How am I supposed to adapt to mindfulness . I sit still, I bring attention to my breath, I focus on my presence physically. I imagine the white lights, and the fire breath. I am able to breathe deeper than ever before, which is rightfully so because I practice every single day. What for though.
I have recently come to a new house of thought. One that doesn’t involve others thoughts. I am quieting my mind so that I can think about what the hell I am doing. It is not about being more productive, which is a constant in today’s society. The need to be better, do better, look better, ACT better. That’s just it, I don’t want to ACT better, I want to BE.
Mindfulness as an exercise is helping cultivate my being. I used to think that I wanted to take refuge in Buddhist culture and religious spirituality because IT would make me better. When the appropriate thing to say is that I am learning to adjust my thought processes. From wanting something to fix ME, to allowing my mind to heal itself.
I can list a number of trials I have been through, I used to do just that, spiral off a staircase of reasoning. Reasons why I quit doing drugs, or having sex to fulfill a need, justification of my constant craving to adjust other people’s way of thinking for what I assumed was as good for them as it is for me. Then I woke up to the reality that it doesn’t work that way.
We as humans are all here on our OWN paths, making our OWN decisions. Coming from that architectural thought I am able to wrap my brain around the process of compassion. It’s not about being enlightened, as some would say. It’s not about “making” others see the light, at least that’s what I have come to adjust my thoughts to be. It’s about just being the BEST possible human that I can be RIGHT NOW. Not yesterday or tomorrow but genuinely in the moment. Throughout the day, I adjust my thought process to be aware of what I am thinking, feeling, saying, and doing, instead of living on "auto- pilot” . When we allow our brains to do so, we go through life like a performance. Where we are doing shit but never really feeling or experiencing life. Which is why I found I felt out of touch, like Hall and Oats. I was at times like a stranger in my own life.
Thich Nhat Hanh, one of my favorite Buddhist philosophers who is also a Vietnamese monk, said, "It is not so important whether you walk on water or walk in space. The true miracle is to walk on earth." To be present and realize where you are RIGHT NOW, to be as compassionate as possible regardless of what adversity stands in the way of your peace and awareness. That has to be the most difficult thing for me to cultivate, to love what I hate, to appreciate the ridiculous, to appreciate the simple minds that continue to confuse me on a daily.
I woke up today full of energy and love, I meditated on these thoughts, via conversation with a close friend. I thought it was good stuff to share with you my lovely friends and readers. Hope this Sunday like any other day blesses you with the strength to be the most compassionate you are possible being RIGHT NOW.
Be Well ♥️ Wonder
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