HEAL the Mind; HEAL thy self tv

"If you have the ability to love, love yourself first."- Charles Bukowski

May this article find you doing well on this Sunday morning. Personally, as you read this, I will be doing yoga, meditating, and starting my week. I have had to change up my routine because I have been slacking off. It's human nature to slack off, make mistakes, and forget how to take care of ourselves. We may take care of ourselves the way we see fit or only do what we have time for, but this can be dangerous. For me, this looks like overworking, isolation, and a maddening amount of intrusive thoughts. My healing journey is lifelong, and every time I am disappointed, I learn something. We all learn from our struggles. If I never fell down, how the hell would I learn to get back up?

HEALING

A moment ago, I mentioned "my healing journey". It was a really intense adventure. Recently, I have been struggling, and the struggle was brought on by guess who? Me! In early May, I received some earth-shaking, heart-shattering news. On July 13th, it was two months since I got the news initially. I thought I was doing just fine. I was getting up, going to work, paying all my bills, and staying in my lane. I had missed a few sessions with my therapist, but I didn't really think anything about it or how I felt. But that came later. I suppose it's because when I was younger, I screwed myself up pretty badly. I mean, I'm not here to compete or trade war stories.

However, coming from that past, when you have your act together, that counts. I have used that to gauge where I am for years. "Can I pay my bills, or am I sleeping and eating correctly? If so, then what the hell do I have to worry about?" I have come to find out that we have a lot to worry about. It's so much different when you grow up; everything changes.

This time around, when the struggle began, I was using my tools: prayer, meditation, yoga, and ritual work stemming from my faith and spiritual beliefs. Then I just stopped. It was like I slipped down that ever-so-slippery slope of the wrong routine for the time. I was manipulating my thoughts to get away with all of my bad habits, especially isolating. I wake up stressed and go to bed exhausted. WWHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT y'all? I will tell you. Instead of doing what I tell all of my friends, loved ones, and clients to do, I allowed myself to act like sleeping for 12 hours is "self-care". Yeah, right, Wonder. If that is the case, then so is eating a gallon and a half of Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk.

The sad thing is I didn't even recognize that I was doing this to myself. Here I am, a 41-year-old teacher, speaker, and healer, and I can't even wrap my head around the fragile state of my psyche. The change in routine has begun. I am still tweaking it, so when it is finished, I will let you know how it is and what I have done to change it up. Sometimes we MUST get

uncomfortable to GROW.

A few puzzle pieces that fit together looke like they didn’t at first, all of the sudden, they do! Those pieces were right there on the table the whole time. I only needed  different

perspective. A perspective that included ME, and not JUST everybody else that I need to Help (fix, manage and control). It has affected those people as well, even the Nala Grace has been thrown for a loop. Poor baby. Below are some of the steps I took to geth everything back in it’s right palace.

(1)Begin to  LET SHIT GO! (2) cCarve out time for MYSELF (3) REMEMBER I am a unique individual that has a lot to offer to  MY life  (4)KNOW that my suffering will most definately not last forevr. . (5.) FIND something that I LOVE to do, listen to, create or be of service and DO IT!

I will be focusing on these initial bby steps of my new routine. I can already feel the change consuming me, the magic is happening, I will be myself, once again. It may take some time to figure , and process it all, but I will get by.

RETROSPECT

In conclusion, on this most amazing Sunday, I encourage all of my friends, family, and readers to GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD! Our headspace is one of the only true safe spots in life. Let's try not to turn it into a prison. I rely on MY higher power; I am Buddhist. I have a ton of amazing books, practices, and people in my faith to connect with and share. If you are your higher power, maybe think of just how big our universe is, and if YOU are really running the show. I feel that if we take the time to think about it for just a brief moment, you may come to another conclusion. If not, BE KIND to yourself and figure it out as you go. I think that being my own God is a bit overrated. JS

Life is far too short to spend all my time worrying about things that we have absolutely no control over, having panic attacks, as well as debilitating anxiety. Today, I take the power back. I am making certain choices to take care of myself. How the hell am I supposed to really be of any type of service if I am broken down? You wouldn't get into a compromised Lyft or Uber, would you?

As always, I love you for reading.

Be well.

Wonder