Here I am again. Basking in the misery of defeat. At a certain point I thought that it would get a lot easier, this heartache thing, but it never gets any easier. I can do all kinds of things to fill up my day to make it less abrasive in my mind, so that way when I don’t hear a song or smell a smell or see someone that looks like you. I feel as if I have developed my own personal hell, it would be OK if I at least had somebody to walk through it with, but that is not the case.
I really don’t know what’s worse, the fact that I feel so much like a failure or the fact that I really felt like it was going to be different this time. I’ve never been so frustrated with the fact that I cannot get someone , f*ck that anyone, to understand my plight.
To be connected, in a way that makes time stop. To be fluid and open the waters in the vast ocean, an ocean I would cross to get to you.
... unfortunately, that does not matter.
Especially now. Which is why I am here , writing. Pouring out my mind somewhere darker, more comfortable. It takes me back to when my pop told me that “when you go to bed mad, that’s when you know it’s over” . My father is not the most intelligent man but he knows a thing or two about this love and heartbreaking shit we call our lives.
Kudos to his point , that if one or both people cannot bite it and save face, that we have to be committed to a crazy notion that we are able to apologize and just be us for five minutes. Like we used to be.
The application of communication in any relationship cannot be overemphasized. No relationship lasts for long without the right level of communication between the two people involved. I have realized , you have to hone your communication skills and if you are not good at it, you gave yo apply yourself to be the best. The classic way to address any issue in your relationship is to come out open on anything l and talk it over with your person, like a serious wanting, adult. Participating in heated arguments never produces the results we need, when it comes to problem solving. The right approach is to 1.) find time and talk things over with your person before it grows into an irreconcilable difference. Then you are left alone, and confused.
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